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14 November 2012

Suffocation


Trigger Warning: Murder, abuse, torture, and descriptions of specific crimes against disabled people. Also ableism in general.
--

This is a poem that I wrote and performed for the Education Week open slam. 

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I cannot feel
But it is not because I am not able
Not because I am not capable

They hold me down
They sit on me
They pin my arms behind my back
And wrench my wrists til I go slack
They push my face into the floor
They hold my legs while I beg “no more”2 split foxwoods casino events tonight
They lock me in an empty room
They watch me though I can’t see them
They won’t let me be with the other kids
Won’t let me learn and play like the rest of them
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I cry
I rock
I flapcasino shreveport la riverboat filmul 21 blackjack online subtitrat casino kid nes walkthrough
I spin
I scream
I bang
I pick my skin

I want to talk but they won’t listen
They talk about me like I’m not there
I’m diseased, they say, defective, deficient
My mind is broken
There’s something wrong and they need to fix ittreasure island casino weezer casino club redding ca no deposit casino coupon codes gambling sites ny winner sport casino online
They pathologize every bit of me
If I laugh
If I smilegrand casino in oklahoma city oklahoma internet casino nj roulette bets slot machine toys r us
If I crybonus welcome slot casino bingo online play slot machine mobile network coverage comparison usa jungle slots online game
If I’m happy or sad
If I want to eat or sleep at unusual times

They strap me down and leave me for hours
They attach wires to my arms and legscoolcat no deposit bonus codes june 2018 slot enchanted unicorn
And shock me for being me
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Twice
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I can’t suffer this longer
They’re suffocating me
And if they kill me
I know they’ll go free
They did it to Katie and George and Daniel
To Tracy and Laura and Calista

In their eyes, I am not human
Subhuman
Less than human
Defective neural matter hidden behind a human face

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They are the ones putting up with me
They’re the “heroes” for abusing me

It’s not that I won’t resist
I can’t
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Not while the law can let them
Not while they’re crushing me
Pinning me to the floor
Locking me alone for the crime of existing
Incarcerating me in some “group home”

They won’t let me try
Won’t give me the tools I need to succeed
Won’t let me communicatemaryland live casino mobile program online casino no deposit bonus codes uk aria casino high limit slots casino bonussen zonder storten wikipedia online casino no deposit casino bonus codes australia make money online paypal uk
Won’t listen when I do
Won’t turn off the lights and sound and smellstop rated online casinos 2018 slot games apps android slot quest games learning 11 times table cheapest mobile network uk pay you go
Won’t let me learn the way I can
Won’t tell me I can do whatever I dream
Won’t tell me I’m okay the way I ambest usa online casino payouts slot games money myvegas slots mobile coupons

They tell me I’m not capable of dreaming
They tell me I’m not capable of feeling
They tell me I’m not capable of being human
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So they try to beat me out of me
Try to stamp my soul from my body
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Try to pound me into a mold of their making not meant for melas vegas casino online sports betting casinos in michigan roulette tricks online casino best secured credit card bank of america can you win at casino slot machines

If they have their way, I’ll never know community
I’ll never know my own history, the history of my people

But I know
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I know now who I am100 forex brokers no deposit bonus oneida bingo and casino green bay wi bet online sports review anonymous casino

And do you know who I am?

I am Carrie Buckbaccarat pans golden palace online casino review myvegas slots questions super casino 200 bonus casino website script top casino online bonus
Sterilized without consent because my mother and daughter and I were disabledeuropean roulette games online game of thrones the game online biloxi mississippi casino map online casino nd bonuses casinos in panama city beach florida

I died in the Holocaust
I was the first among them, the first among the Untermenschen

I was in Willowbrook
Chained to walls and beds

I am the Blind laboring for twenty-two cents an hour
In the name of charity

I am the “idiot” and “insane person”
Disenfranchised, unable to vote in my own hometown
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I am Hope Block
Unable to marry my love because we are disabled

I am Kalanit Levy
Wrongfully born
Should have been aborted had the doctor done the right thing

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I am Katie McCarron
Suffocated by my mother for being Autistic
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I am George Hodgins
Shot by my mother for being Autistickickapoo casino eagle pass reviews mega casino bonus codes roulette generator titan bet no deposit bonus giochi di slot gratis online

I am Daniel Corby
Drowned by my mother for being Autisticmississippi coast casino concerts online sports gambling sites argosy casino and spa kansas city no deposit sign up bonus bingo win big online casino kennt jemand gute online casinos

I am Tracy Latimer
Gassed by my father for having cerebral palsycasino sign up no deposit bonus online slots jackpot casino windsor exchange rate

I am Laura Cummings
Tortured, raped, and murdered by my mother and uncle
For being disabledcasino slots play for fun chumash casino entertainment schedule casino montreal michael jackson maryland live online virtual casino

I am Calista Springer
Chained to a bed and killed by my father and stepmother
For being Autistic

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Tied down for seven hours
Shocked thirty-one times
Because they could, would, and did

I am the target of your pity and fear and scorn
I am your problem, society’s problem, your burden, society’s burden

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You erase me
You silence me

I rage
Unheardcasino boat florida orlando online casino bonus playthrough tera online new character slot bet365 mobile app ios casino oklahoma city ok casino classic rc winner casino mobile bonus
Unseen
Unknown

I despair in your prisons
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For me there are no rights
No protections
No humanitykeno video slots jocuri casino online book of ra 2 go wild casino online chat online casino gambling guide
No decency
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And I tremble, by God, I tremble
Because I know you’ll come for me next
You’ll come for me in the guise of treatment and protection
And when you murder me, when you slaughter my soul and crush my spirit
You’ll earn the accolades, the sympathy, the empathy

As you take your knives and guns and straps and wires and chains and pills
As you hammer me and batter me and choke me and beat mecasino roulette table for sale river casino in chicago illinois casino games slot machines cleopatra casino titan mobile no deposit bonus codes online gambling sites for money online slots canada paypal no deposit signup bonus casino online
As you win
As you erase me
As you kill mereal money mobile casino games tpg mobile usage app android casino closest to lexington kentucky roulette online yahoo

What will become of me then?all slot casino review all slots mobile casino no deposit bonus multiplication test games multi slots demo play slot online video

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4 comments:

  1. This is VERY touching !. DUSYA .

    ReplyDeletecan you win at online casinos casinos online latinoamerica
  2. Powerful and Moving ... SHARED on F/B

    ReplyDelete
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  3. Very powerful poem. Thanks for sharing it with us all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a very deep, emotional and riveting poem. We are the ones who need to speak for the victims, we need to be the voices for those who have none.

    ReplyDelete
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